Vol. 8 No. 2 Octuber 2002 / Tishrei – Cheshvan – 5763
This little article is about you, it’s about me, it’s about life, it’s about love. These words meet all of us right where we are – in our homes and families. I hope this article will be food for thought, imparting useful insight, so we can all make the world around us a little bit better. Reprint from December, 1998
Some things never change from the fast paced and changing world we live in. One of these things is love. It hasn’t changed, nor can it. Perhaps what has changed is the way in which we demonstrate our love. The demands of life have stolen that precious element of time that once afforded us the luxury of developing a home life conducive to stability and a sense of security for our children. It takes quality time, affection, protection and careful guidance for the building blocks of family unity to grow a home life that is wholly supported by our actions and confirm and breathe life into the words, “I love you”. The painful truth, however, is where we understand instinctively of what love is, isn’t always the reality we face. A lack of importance, consideration, and attention can send a harsh message of insignificance, leaving one with a very real sense of emotional abandonment. This is where confusion enters in, because we identify by how we are treated. Neglect sealed with words ‘I love you’ does not make for a happy heart!
Inherent in love itself are certain qualities, standards and expectations. Within each one of us, HaShem has planted the need to give love and the need to be loved. When this very fundamental need is not met and our hearts are robbed of this joy and contentment, our souls become wounded by the disappointments. We try to console ourselves, which at best can only bandage our hurt.
In our hurt we develop destructive patterns as we try to make our way through the conflict between our hearts awareness of what should be, and our heads understanding of what is not. This eternal struggle can manifest by taking itself out on those around us whom we feel at fault for failing to provide the love we feel should come to us. Children experience anger toward the parents for not loving them, and can and often do rebel as an expression of the void felt. Parents become angry and frustrated with the rebellion of the children. Offering only lip service will, in the end, be resented.
The actual words “I love you” should merely stand in agreement, giving audible dimension to what we do. When we put the two together the circle is complete. Let’s tell those that are close to us that we love them by all that we do.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight with evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
We extend our thanks and appreciation to Diane Makarewicz for sharing her heart. We sincerely hope this article will make a difference in all our lives. May HaShem richly bless you and your families this wonderful season!
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